A Cynic philosophy.
long life ahead
cradled beneath yesterday’s fingernails
trapped in yesterday’s emotions
long life ahead
trapped beneath a missed opportunity of yellowed breakfast@3 weeks ago
"how do you get over someone you barely knew? how do you shake the feeling that wasn’t even real? cause i miss you but i can’t show it. i can’t because i’m guilty of what’s happening on the side. don’t wait for me. one of these mornings, ill be gone. you will look for me, but ill be gone."
be a stronger, you, isabelle.@3 weeks ago
life is funny. i guess i say that a lot because each day, i feel this is true. during this time last year, i was in a relationship with someone i thought i was going to stay with for a long period of time. it’s all i knew. it’s still kind of all i know, but i’m learning to associate fall with different, happier things.
we’re all prone to the natural blues of the world. it’s not coincidence that when the seasons change, those of us who feel this innate connection to nature are suddenly thrown for a loop into seasonal depression and tireless longing for someone. i feel that way. i guess i don’t know how to be alone. i don’t know how to let me mind cope with loneliness. i never really have. if i had, i would have been able to get out of meeting people online or even being involved with a pedophile online.
if i knew how to be alone, i wouldn’t feel so lonely when i am alone.
i just moved into a new apartment. i told my sister the first couple of nights were lonely. i have a dog and what not, but for some reason that didn’t cure the loneliness. then, it hit me. i was alone because i didn’t even have an internet connection. i didn’t have that virtual world for me to immerse myself in. i didn’t have a clue how to act without the emotionless world behind the screen.
i think we’ve become this culture of lonely people. it’s why we resort to tinder and other online dating/hook-up sites. we’re drawn to the idea that we never have to be alone. we’re drawn to the idea that someone will always be on the other end. we’ll never really understand how it used to be back when people felt independent because they had to be.
we’re so used to an instant, virtual connection that we forget how to connect in person. i’m guilty of it and i’m not afraid to admit it. i’ve met people from the internet. but i didn’t do it because i wanted to hook up with them. i did it because it’s the only thing i knew how to do.
i’m not in a place in my life where i feel comfortable enough to go out, mingle with strangers and turn them into friends shortly after. i’m just not there yet. i don’t know if i will be any time soon.@3 weeks ago with 3 notes
don’t look to someone younger to cure your aging blues.@3 weeks ago
cafe del mar showed me a side of life so deep within myself that i was forced to question my spirit. question my soul with stringy bitterness….look into a person i didn’t know was there.@3 weeks ago